


Milk

by themantlingdark



Series: Boys [2]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 19:51:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themantlingdark/pseuds/themantlingdark
Summary: please pretend commenting is turned off and please don't repost.





	Milk

Thor is kept busy in early summer building booths for exhibitors who are touring the east coast, selling their wares at the art fairs. Summer is slow for Loki, so he often helps Thor with the finishing work - sanding, staining, painting, packaging, and shipping. Thor takes Loki's advice and makes booths that can be augmented as the buyer's needs change. Thor makes expansion kits for his most popular booth design, and those are a hit. Customers are grateful not to have to buy whole new booths, and Thor is grateful not to have to build them.

In the fall, their workloads reverse, and Thor helps Loki get all his truffle orders ready.

After Christmas, Loki takes Thor's advice and develops a second line of truffles that meet a lower price point and come in seasonal flavors. They're much easier to make, and they let Loki experiment - finding new tastes, textures, and techniques - which was what Loki always loved about cooking in the first place. The new confections also balance his income, pulling in a steady profit during what used to be the lean season for Loki.

Thor is, as ever, his brother's guinea pig, and he happily tests and helps to tweak the sweets.

Natasha rounds out Loki's test audience. He is forever mailing her samples with the request that she be brutally honest in her feedback. She gives him helpful critiques and also writes that she would like Loki's signature tattooed onto her ass, because her backside's current size and shape are entirely his doing.

Part of the reason their house was such a bargain, apart from Fandral being their realtor, was that the kitchen and bathroom had never been updated. The kitchen didn't matter because they knew they were going to have one built to meet Loki's professional needs anyway. The bathroom was simple enough to be timeless – white tiles on the floor and half-way up the walls, a white claw footed tub, a white toilet, and a white sink. There was atrocious wallpaper on the top half of the walls, but that was easily remedied.

They haven't had a proper bathtub since they left home. Thor didn't realize he had missed it. The thing reminds him of bathing with his brother when they were little boys, sinking plastic ships and pretending they were in the sea. Watching bubbles boil up when they farted and squealing at the stink. Using the suds in their hair to give themselves mohawks that wilted almost immediately. Lying shoulder to shoulder like sardines, trying to keep their skin under the water when the air began to feel cold.

Loki had missed having a bathtub all along, loving to soak in one when his cramps were bad or his bony feet ached.

And this one is huge. Big enough even for Thor.

And it has a detachable shower head.

When Loki first saw the combination, it was like the granting of a wish he hadn't realized he'd made.

Loki is of the opinion that nothing beats a shower head with a massage setting when it comes to delivering orgasms.

He hasn't broken that news to his brother.

In early March, Loki needs to go in for his annual exam. He still hasn't bothered to buy a car, and he suspects he won't really need to. Thor has errands to run, so they go into town together.

When Thor is finished with his shopping, he texts his brother.

Status?

Just got out of the official waiting room. Loki replies. Will now be waiting in the cold exam room (while wearing an over-bleached threadbare backless gown). for. fucking. ever.

AND you get to have your cooter poked by a stranger?! Things are coming up Loki ;)  Thor teases.

I can't wait until you're old enough for prostate exams, Loki gripes.

Seconded. I'll be out in the waiting room.

k

Thor sits in a chair that is far too small for him and leafs through the colorful women's magazines that litter the tables.

They're absurd.

The photoshoppers seem not to have studied human anatomy at any point in their lives and every headline implies that the reader is in dire need of some preposterous improvement, or should be worried about something ridiculous – back fat, bikini zones, beach bodies, botox, breast implants, and ombré-everything.

Thor can hear his mother's voice in his head, picking the periodicals apart.

Pointing out how most of the articles are unpaid advertisements.

Counting the pages that have at least two full columns of text on them and holding it over the total page count.

Counting the number of women who are photographed with their mouths open.

Noting the dismally low number of people who are not caucasian. Who are not young.

Noting how the men are photographed in powerful stances with their mouths closed.

Thor imagines men being photographed the way women are photographed: with soft light, sexual poses, and lots of exposed skin, heads thrown back and laughing; or with pensive expressions and long hair hiding half their faces. In bikinis and bath towels. Under the spray of the shower with their hair all in suds. Sprawled on artfully rumpled bedding while wearing delicate lingerie.

And then he has to stop thinking about it because he doesn't want to be caught in a gynecologist's waiting room with an enormous erection.

Thor finds a magazine meant to appeal to health conscious hippie types, full of photos tinted lavender and mint green. He sees a page covered in pictures of delicious-looking body scrubs with simple recipes beside the shots. And there's a woman in a bathtub full of milk. It seems the lactic acid makes for a lovely exfoliant.

Well then.

Thor takes photos of the recipes with his phone.

He never did pour milk on his brother's body as he'd meant to do after they made love. He was too distracted. And then too busy to remember. But now he has the reminder, as well as recipes, reasons, and excuses.

Not that he thinks he'll need them. His brother is a glutton for pleasure. Touch. Sensuality.

And Loki has been plagued by dry skin all winter.

And he'll be grumpy and frustrated when he gets done with his check up. He finds it deeply offensive that he has to make an appointment only to wait nearly two hours before he actually sees his doctor. He hates having his time wasted. His privacy invaded. His body examined. His intricate existence reduced to yeses and nos on some indifferent survey.

As anticipated, Loki is shaking his head and rolling his eyes when he comes through the door, waving his birth control prescription in defeated victory.

Thor wants to kiss and nuzzle his brother to lift his mood.

But he can't.

“Everything okay?”

“As far as they can tell,” Loki shrugs. “Pap results won't be in for a week or so and then no news is good news.”

Thor nods and they make their way out through labyrinthine office hallways that flicker with pink florescent light.

Thor pulls into a grocery store on their way back to the house.

“You wanna come in, or wait in the car?” Thor asks.

“I'll wait. I feel gross. I'm all sticky from their stupid lube and my cervix is cramping from getting scraped.”

“I'll be quick. There's ibuprofen in the glove compartment.”

Loki grabs two pills and steals Thor's water bottle to wash them down.

Thor gets macaroni salad from the deli, Cheetos, and Lucky Charms – Loki's favorite junky comfort foods – and then grabs three gallons of whole milk.

“Are you going to make paneer?” Loki asks, raising his eyebrows as Thor unloads the contents of his shopping cart.

“You'll see,” Thor smiles.

Loki tears into the Cheetos before Thor even has his seat belt on.

“Are those going to make it home?” Thor teases.

Loki grins and shakes his head no.

Thor holds his mouth open until Loki stuffs it with crunchy cheese-flavored fat, repeating the motion throughout their drive home until the bag is, indeed, empty and Loki's fingers are bright orange.

It's Friday and it looks like rain.

Thor is worried the clouds will add insult to injury, soaking an already-chilly-Loki-with-a-wounded-cervix on this brisk March morning.

But the rain holds off until they get inside, and then it's welcome - like the sky pulling a curtain around their world.

Friday and Saturday are Loki's days off. He doesn't like shipping orders when he knows they'll just be stuck going nowhere on Sunday. He wants his creations to arrive as freshly as they're able.

Thor's bed is still the cloud, covered in pillows and fluffy white quilts. The colors of his room are airy and light. Pale oak floor and furniture. Wooly grey rugs. Robin's egg curtains. He built a new frame for Loki's old twin-size mattress and then lined it up with the rest of his bed. The nest stretches from wall to wall. But Thor is six feet four inches tall, and his feet have always hung off the edge of his mattress, so his parents assume it's just their son's solution to one of the many woes of being so big.

Loki's room is dark and full of jewel tones and pretty patterns. It makes Thor think of stepping into a Fabergé egg.

When Loki has his period, they sleep in his room so there won't be blood stains on Thor's white bed linens, which would be tricky to explain, if anyone ever noticed.

Frigga talked Loki into getting a diva cup a year ago, and Thor was glad. Loki used playtex tampons when they were in high school, and Thor remembers the face Loki made whenever he put one in – focused, but relaxed. In college, Loki switched to o.b. because he felt the packaging and applicators of all the other brands were wasteful. But the face Loki made when he used o.b. was a pained grimace and it made Thor wince to see it.

When they first moved here, Thor bought black towels and black twin sheets and built what was, in effect, a maxi-pad for Loki's mattress. It let Loki forgo the discomfort of pads and tampons as he slept, and the laundry was easy enough to do.

Loki was doubly delighted by Thor's design: he was comfortable, which was wonderful; and, being comfortable, he felt much more inclined to enjoy the increase in libido that always accompanied his period.

And Thor loved it, too. Loved seeing his own sex streaked with blood just like his brother's, making them the same. Loved that they were no longer losing out on lovemaking for four days every month. And the orgasms and exertion reduced Loki's cramps, which further improved Loki's mood.

One lazy morning while they were lying in Loki's bed, Thor rubbed his brother through to an orgasm and then absentmindedly licked his fingers. The taste reminded Thor of holding a spare nail between his lips as he hammered. Thor was briefly worried and confused, because that was not what Loki normally tasted like; it was definitely blood. Then he remembered Loki had his period.

When he met Loki's eyes, they were wide, but bright with amusement.

“I was wondering when that would happen,” Loki admitted. “You've gotten into the habit.”

“What habit?”

“Licking your fingers after they've been in my pussy.”

“I could cut out the middle man,” Thor offered, smiling.

Loki raised his eyebrows, then nodded twice, bit his lip, and spread his legs.

Thor kissed his way to Loki's lovely cunt and ate it just as greedily as he always did - lapping, sucking, and humming until Loki was bucking against his chin.

Thor came up grinning with blood on his face, and Loki couldn't help but think the color suited his brother. That deep glowing red beside the bright blond hair was so striking. Thor usually just wore jeans with a black or grey tee shirt. Loki liked that his body was the source of the exception to Thor's limited wardrobe palette. And Loki was relieved to find that his brother was, as ever, entirely at ease with the fluids and functions of the female body.

These days Loki uses the cup by day and the black bed-pad by night. And Thor peeks at Loki's birth control pack and looks forward to the row of pink placebo reminder-pills, because they mean that Loki will be eager for sex and hungry for comfort, and Thor will get to provide ample amounts of both.

Thor leaves the milk on the counter and puts the rest of the groceries away while Loki goes upstairs to rinse the goopy medical lube off his skin.

When Thor comes in, Loki is still squatting in the bathtub, frowning, with the detachable shower-head aimed at his crotch. His boxerbriefs are on the floor. Thor sees a drop of blood on the cotton and picks them up to rinse them under cold water.

“Thanks,” Loki sighs.

“Wanna get back in bed for a while?”

“Yeah. We should probably use mine. I'm not sure if the bleeding is done yet.”

Thor nods.

They keep the house quite cold, so Thor heads to Loki's room to warm the blankets with his body heat before his brother arrives.

Loki wants them to be thrifty. After they closed on the house and had the kitchen built, their bank accounts were the lowest they'd ever been. It made Loki nervous. Thor assured his brother that they were still better off financially than the majority of their countrymen, since they didn't have student loan debt on top of the mortgage, but Loki wasn't comforted.

So Thor drew up a brutally tight new budget and made a list of all the little ways they could save money: no more meat; buying rice, beans, and lentils in bulk; buying local; buying infrequently so they weren't wasting gas money; getting up with the sun to take advantage of natural light; turning off and unplugging lights, electronics, and appliances when they weren't in use so they wouldn't be leaching electricity all day; only doing full loads of laundry and using cold water; canceling Netflix; getting books and movies from the library instead of buying them; walking to the farm two miles away to buy fresh eggs; making their own cleaning products; repairing damaged clothes and buying them used in the first place; turning the heat down in the winter and the AC up in the summer; growing a vegetable garden; skipping restaurants and travel; buying generic; and ceasing to shave.

That last item was the only one that Loki didn't like.

Then Thor told him how much they were spending on razors.

Loki relented.

At first, Thor's whiskers were unbearable and left red scratches on Loki's skin, but as the hair grew out, it got softer, and it tickled wonderfully between Loki's legs. He still didn't like it against his face, though, and when their bank accounts had recovered, razors were the only luxury they brought back. Loki didn't bother to resume shaving the back half of his vulva. He had worried that the fur would interfere with the way he felt his brother's touch, but instead it let him feel Thor before Thor had even reached his skin. Like a forest of curly antennae. And he didn't miss the razor burn one bit.

They both liked seeing each other in their more or less natural states. And smelling each other.

And they both found that they didn't miss the rest of the things they had given up. The peace of mind that came from knowing they wouldn't go broke if an unexpected expense popped up left them with much lower stress, which helped when things got busy with their businesses and they had to put in long hours.

Thor's vegetable garden is a marvel. Irresistible. Loki is forever threatening to eat the plump deer that come to raid it.

An empty threat.

Loki made a game of hiding in the corn stalks and jumping out when the pretty beasts came to eat, sprinting after them in the dark shoutingNomnomnom and trying to grab their bouncing white behinds.

Thor offered to build a fence around the garden with the wood scraps in his workshop, but Loki smiled shyly and shook his head no, saying, “Where's the fun in that?”

Loki joins Thor in bed, burrowing under the blankets and dragging his deliciously warm brother on top of himself before demanding kisses.

Soon, Loki's hands are on Thor's butt and his legs are sliding apart. And then Thor is kissing his way south and sucking Loki's breasts. Nuzzling Loki's belly and nipping his inner thighs. Pulling the long lips of Loki's pussy into his mouth and caressing them with his tongue. Tracing wet folds until Loki is dripping, then licking him clean and lapping his clit.

“Can I have your fingers now?” Loki pants, flexing his legs and pointing his toes.

Thor goes still and bites his lip.

“You have an open wound on your cervix,” Thor says, softly. “I don't think we should put anything in your vagina today.”

“Right. Good call. Fuck.”

They both pause for a moment, thinking.

“Can you vibe me?” Loki asks. “I'm too lazy to work for it today.”

“Yeah,” Thor smiles, and gets up to fetch Loki's vibrator.

He grabs a washcloth from the linen closet and nudges Loki up so that he can set it beneath Loki's bottom and spare him a wet spot on his sheets.

Then Thor squirts lube onto Loki's lelo and settles in beside his brother.

He buzzes Loki's body across half a dozen orgasms.

They first used the toy together right after Thor had his vasectomy, when he couldn't do much of anything else.

Thor was amazed by how effective it was. Loki could come in under two minutes, and his orgasms seemed more powerful and more consistent.

After Thor had recovered from the surgery, they were fooling around and he asked Loki where the toy was.

“You give me good orgasms without it,” Loki said.

“I give you better ones with it,” Thor countered. “It's the right tool for the job; I don't drive nails into boards with my bare hands.”

Loki grinned for the rest of the day.

The sixth orgasm leaves Loki with heavy eyelids and sluggish limbs.

Thor tugs the washcloth out from under his brother, dabs him dry, gives him a kiss, and sneaks off to work on his surprise.

Thor cleans the bathtub.

He realizes that if he pours the milk onto his brother while he's taking a shower, it will run down the drain and Loki's skin will glean no benefit from it. But if Loki soaks in it, the lactic acid will have a chance to work, and Thor will be able to scoop up the milk and pour it over his brother's skin again and again.

Thor fills the tub with hot water and then sets two of the milk jugs in it to warm them up.

The third jug gets emptied into a stock pot and warmed on the stove.

And it smells like... milk. Which is fine, Thor supposes, but it could smell better.

Thor pokes through the kitchen in search of pleasant scents.

He finds the vanilla and almond extracts and sets those aside as possibilities.

He's looking through the other cupboards for inspiration when he comes to spiced chai.

Loki drinks it on days when he's being deliberately lazy.

Thor grabs a bag and dangles it into the pot. Then he remembers he's making a bathtub's worth and adds four more.

When it's almost simmering, he shuts off the stove, heads up the stairs, drains the cold bath water, replaces it with very hot, pours in the two jugs of milk, and heads back downstairs. He grips a measuring cup between his teeth and cautiously carries the stockpot up the steps before slowly adding it to the bath.

He can still smell the tea, so it hasn't been completely overwhelmed, and it didn't make the bath too brown. The temperature feels good.

“Did you make me tea?” Loki murmurs, rolling over in his bed.

“Kind of,” Thor says, and leads his brother to the bathroom.

Loki smiles and takes Thor's arm as he steps into the tub.

Thor watches his brother's body disappear into the strange opaque bath. He folds a towel and lays it behind Loki's head and shoulders so that his skin won't have to rest against cold hard porcelain.

Loki's breasts are floating slightly, moving minutely with the ripples in the water. His nipples are drawn tight and there's gooseflesh on the exposed skin.

Thor rolls up his sleeves and kneels beside the tub. He pours warm milk onto Loki's chest with the measuring cup, seeing the little rivulets of white that rush down Loki's breasts, darting left and right unpredictably as they hurry back into the bath.

Loki watches Thor's face. Blue eyes almost vibrating as they follow the path of the milk. Lips slightly parted and cheeks getting flushed.

Loki sits up straighter so that his breasts are fully exposed. He hears Thor make a soft grunt in the back of his throat.

Thor pours the milk again and stares as it traces Loki's curves.

Loki's long fingers flow up along his ribs, rising from the bath and lifting his his breasts before tracing his neck.

Thor makes another little noise – faster this time, and breathier.

“I want to see you,” Loki says, and Thor nods and gets undressed.

Loki lets himself stare at that long, thick, perfect prick with the clear bead of sticky dew like a jewel at its tip. Thor fits so tight inside him there isn't room for one more inch. And that ample round butt was built to thrust. Loki's eyes sweep up and down, taking everything in. Thor's muscles are always marvelous, but the way his cock gets so hard and red and wet makes Loki's cunt tremble inside him and his heart surge.

Because it's for him. Of all men, the least likely. On paper, at any rate. Here in flesh and blood, it couldn't be any other way.

Loki cups his breasts and squeezes them, making the flesh bulge between his fingers.

Thor's cock nods its approval.

Loki sits all the way up and leans forward, exposing new skin. Thor sits on the edge of the tub and drizzles milk down the knobs of Loki's spine and the ridges of his ribs. Pours it along the edge of Loki's neck where it pools, briefly, in his collarbones before overflowing to soak his breasts.

Loki gets up on all fours and Thor groans as milk cascades down the hemispheres of Loki's behind. Thor can see where tiny white droplets are getting caught in the black fur between Loki's legs and collecting in the pleats of flesh around his anus.

Thor pours milk into the dimples at the base of Loki's back and leans over to lap it out, tasting milk and chai and Loki.

Loki hears the clatter of the measuring cup on the floor and then the light changes as Thor climbs into the tub. Thor kneels behind his brother, scooping milk up with his hands and rubbing it into Loki's skin, over and over. Then he drapes his body over Loki's and nibbles his slender neck until Loki turns his head for a kiss.

Loki tastes cardamom on Thor's tongue. The flesh between his legs is getting wetter than milk or water.

“Lie down,” Loki says, and Thor leans back against the towel while Loki stands.

Thor sees milk dripping down everywhere. A thousand ribbons of white running shameless fingers over his brother before raining back into the bath.

Loki lets himself drip dry and then bends to retrieve the measuring cup. He fills it up with milk and turns to face his brother.

“Like this?” Loki says, cocking his head, and he pours the milk over his left cheekbone.

It drips onto his chest with a heavy patter, then runs down to his hip and hides briefly in the hair between his legs before flowing south along the inside of his thigh.

Thor nods his head.

“Where are your hands?” Loki breathes, and the tiles bounce his voice into his brother's blushing ears.

“Between my legs,” Thor whispers, stretching his shoulders up.

The motion straightens Thor's arms, which presses his pecs together.

“Stay like that,” Loki says, and drops to his knees to straddle Thor's lap.

Loki pours the milk into the cleft between Thor's breasts and runs his free hand over Thor's skin, kneading the muscles and brushing the tight little knots of Thor's nipples.

And now Thor's eyes dart between his own body and his brother's. And Loki realizes they've made themselves the same again.

Loki pours milk over Thor's broad shoulders. Pours precise streams of it straight onto Thor's tits from a height of over a foot, pulling a high pitched sound from Thor's throat and spattering milk all over their skin. Thor holds his breath to keep the targets steady. His nipples tingle - just like the head of his cock does - as the liquid drills into them.

“I always thought come was white,” Loki murmurs, raining another line of milk down onto Thor's left nipple. “But it's nearly clear. Disappears on the skin unless the light hits it and it glints.”

Thor nods.

“But now we can see,” Loki says, and pours more milk onto his own breasts as Thor surges forward to lick and suck them clean.

When the position begins to annoy Loki's knees, he stands again, still astride Thor. He puts the cup in Thor's left hand and plants his own left foot on the edge of the tub.

Thor fills the cup and hands it to his brother.

Loki cants his hips forward and pours the milk along his sternum. It trickles down his belly and into the cleft of his cunt, then drips from the lips of his pussy to vanish over Thor's prick.

Thor's right hand is hidden beneath the bathwater, but it's effect can be seen in the way the liquid seems to boil between Thor's legs.

Loki pours the milk again, reaching down with two fingers to part his fur and let Thor see the way the white fluid traces the folds of his sex.

And soon Thor can see that it's more than just milk. There's a drop suspended from Loki's cunt, too thick to fall so swiftly.

Thor catches it with a fingertip and sucks it from his own skin, then sits up to lick the milk from the plump curves of Loki's cunt. He holds Loki's legs to keep his brother steady as he laves the soft flesh with long strokes of his tongue.

Loki pulls Thor in by the hair and lets a little of his weight rest on Thor's chin. Thor likes to feel like he's been caught by his brother's body. Loves having Loki's legs around his waist. Loves it when Loki sits on his face.

Loki keens when he comes, then rests, panting, while Thor rubs his thighs and butt.

“Can you lift your hips,” Loki asks, backing away to stand by Thor's feet.

Thor nods and braces his shoulders against the edge of the tub. He bends his knees and then arches his body up out of the bath.

Loki's breathless oh makes Thor's erection twitch.

Thor's flesh is such a deep, rich pink after all that white.

Loki leans over and milk drips from his nipples. He takes Thor's cock in his hand and strokes it, dragging Thor's foreskin up and down in a slow rhythm, squeezing a little tighter with every pass and slowly increasing the pace. When Thor starts to grunt and sigh, Loki bends down to lick and trace the sensitive skin at the tip of Thor's prick. Semen bursts up, dappling Loki's cheeks and painting his tongue. He looks up at his brother and licks the come from his lips.

Thor hums and sinks back down into the bath. Loki urges Thor forward, climbs over him, and then slides in behind him so that they can rest and soak themselves properly.

When they get cold, they reluctantly drain the tub and draw the curtain to take a hot shower.

Loki hits the macaroni salad - hard - for lunch.

There's no blood when Loki checks his underwear afterward, so the twins head to Thor's bed for cuddling that turns into kissing that turns into something without a name.

They're each cocooned in a fluffy white comforter, but they take turns opening their cotton shells and revealing different bits of their bodies. A knee. A nipple. The peak of a hip. The curve of a shoulder. The inside of a thigh. A shin. A flank. A furry little armpit. Each exposed piece is bathed in kisses and caresses and paid at least one compliment.

Thor's cock is soft and Loki's pussy is dry, even when they greet each other there.

They're stamping warmth and affection onto every inch of each other's skin, flirting a bit, and feeling like boys again.

The following Friday finds Loki on his back on the kitchen table, resting on a pile of towels with a pillow under his head.

Thor has a tiny carton of heavy cream that he's just opened and augmented with some sugar. He closes it, shakes it, then dribbles the thick rich liquid onto Loki's pert breasts.

The sound it makes when it hits Loki's skin is heavy and wet. Like rain. Or semen.

And it's cold. It makes Loki squeak. It's the same sound he makes when Thor grips a tiny bit of his butt and pinches it, hard.

Loki lets his brother take pictures. They set up a locked login on Loki's laptop. The user name is Secret Recipes, and the password is 74573FU1NUD35. All of these photos stay in that account. They use Loki's old digital camera. He has a new one, now, to take good pictures of his food and of Thor's booths for their websites.

Once Thor has the shots he wants, he sets the camera aside and licks the cream from Loki's tits.

He keeps pouring more and lapping it up until Loki laughs.

“You're going to make yourself sick.”

Thor's breath gusts over Loki's belly as he sighs.

“How long will the cream keep?” Thor asks.

“Longer than it will last.”

Thor puts it in the fridge, then sits down at the table, tosses Loki's legs over his shoulders, and eats his brother's pussy for dessert.

Thor begins to make bath scrubs with sugar and oil. And he can't help but notice how nice his own hands feel after he's massaged the stuff into Loki's skin, so he starts using them on himself, too. He scents the scrubs with vanilla to make them smell like cookies, which makes both of the brothers happy.

Loki asks Thor to wear sunblock every day just like he does.

“Blue-eyed blonds are melanoma-magnets,” Loki says, voice casual, but brow furrowed.

And Thor doesn't want his brother to worry, and he doesn't want the sun to make him sick, so he wears the sticky stuff.

After he daubs it all over his face, his skin looks dewy. Bright. Smooth. He likes it.

He hunts online for recipes to make his own moisturizer.

And it's cheap and thick and it smells good and there's nothing weird in it.

Loki starts using it, too.

Soon Thor is making all of their bath and body products.

The viewers of Loki's cooking videos leave comments about the ever-improving appearance of Lovely Assistant's skin.

Lovely Assistant posts links to his favorite recipes.

“Is this about what Trevor said?” Loki asks, in autumn, leaning in the bathroom door and watching his brother.

Thor is rubbing a thick balm into his hands as he gets ready for bed.

“What?” Thor says, and then remembers the things Loki's last date said about him. “Oh. No. I actually got the idea from my penis.”

Loki spends several minutes cackling, clinging to the door jamb for dear life and chanting, “Of course you did.”

When he's recovered, he clears his throat and pants, “Continue.”

“Have you ever seen that explosive duck penis video?” Thor asks.

“Oh fuck,” Loki gasps, giggling again. “This just keeps getting better.”

Thor grins and waits for Loki to stop laughing.

“Yes,” Loki answers, finally. “You made me watch it at least eight times.”

“It's amazing.”

“It is,” Loki admits, huffing another laugh. “It's actually one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.”

Thor nods his agreement and continues.

“So the drake's penis evolved to fit the hen's vagina... and I was thinking about our bodies being like that... and the skin on my cock is really smooth, and it's meant to go inside you... and smooth things are easy to keep clean... and vaginas are really fragile, not just in terms of thin tissue but, also, there's like this whole ecosystem in there that's constantly changing and trying to stay balanced.”

Loki nods and feels his face getting flushed. He comes up behind his brother to hug his waist and kiss his neck.

“I don't want to mess you up in there," Thor murmurs. "I want my skin to be smooth so I'm not scraping you and introducing bacteria.”

Loki nods rapidly and squeezes his brother tight while he cries into Thor's hair.

Thor turns to wrap his arms around his brother. He listens to Loki's short wet breaths and waits for them to dry up and slow down again.

The twins sway at the sink, feeling cool tile beneath their toes.

“So, really, you got the idea from a duck's dick,” Loki teases, and Thor snorts and nods his head.

 

**Author's Note:**

> please pretend commenting is turned off and please don't repost.


End file.
